I'm not sure what to say, but all I can say is that I definitely have been very disorganized, I think it may be because I going through a phase in my life at the moment where I just can't help being this way. It is pretty much effecting my performance  in keeping things neat n tidy and on track, it's like I'm constantly day dreaming and have trouble focusing, but that's just the way it is. I'm also very bored and fed-up with ALOT things, and paranoid too, things are too serious and I don't want it to be that way.  But that in a way it's a good thing as my creative part of my head is pretty much high in the sky, a lot of good ideas I need to record on paper, so it's good in that sense.   I should do things quickly, clean n mean, no time wasting, just one thing after the next.

I got some bad news, I didn't make back into NUCA, it's such a shame. It's hard for me even think about the future, I defiantly wish I go back in time, I would change things. I hate having this feeling of being lost... I doubt it's a big deal just need to be strong...I hate sounding overly serious, just isn't my style. I want to have fun just like everyone else.. I need reassurance. I'm scared to growing up and people want to rub it my face, I suppose I should get used to it. Maybe I'm just over worrying, I hate that, I'm sure I'm doing pretty well for myself...   I need to loose some weight , get higher self-esteem and make myself look as cool and sexy as possible!

I get this feeling people dream about me quite often.... vice verse rarely if ever..... but still how romantic!